C&C: Have you ever broken into a pool and hot tub area at the Hilton in LA at 1am?
Okay, yes. But, it’s fine. Richard Thomas still believes he never left his room. I daresay you and I work well together, Ms. Curiouser.
C&C: What are you enamored with right now?
Films. I’ll sidestep the exact number I’ve screened in 2012 alone, because it’s triple-digits and I prefer the assumption that instead it’s constant travel and giggly days with my family that gets my time wholesale, which is also mostly true. But just as much, it’s cinema. I spend my time spellbound below a TV, making the same face now that I did during the video world premiere of Like a Virgin. I don’t want to move because I don’t want it to stop.
C&C: Tell me about the most awkward come-on that you’ve ever gotten.
I just don’t catch come-ons the rare times they occur for me. I’m more likely to dispute the comment, start some jovial argument, then see the subtext later. No question, I’ve been known to give men more credit than was due.
Either way, I’m not the woman in movies who laughs at guys with no game. I don’t fault anyone for awkward. It’s the reverse I despise—disproportionate self importance. I have had a ring on for fifteen years, am unspeakably enamored with my husband and constantly trying to impress him; any come-on will be awkward. When my status is known, it’s worse. It’s absurd.
C&C: What do you have in your pockets?
Chocolate. The ticking time bomb of pocket secrets. It’s always melting, but I won’t always remember it’s there. On my most dangerous days, Toffifay.
C&C: When you were little, who was the female you most admired?
As a girl, Punky. Her best friend on the show, Cherie, was actually the inspiration for the pilot, and I loved them both. It turned even sweeter when I realized my real-life best friend looked exactly like Cherie and I was a passable Soleil Moon Frye.
After that it was Maya Angelou, because she taught me how to apologize for my mistakes without apologizing for who I am, something I needed as a young person.
As an adult, Judith Regan because she seems to laugh constantly, joyously. I wouldn’t emulate her career exactly, but her whole presence is this gorgeous supercharged femininity that I love. She makes me want to surround myself with people who make me laugh and laugh. That’s a life, to me.
I nearly have that now, actually—the difference being that I may have to re-button the shirts or scrub the faces of the fellas entertaining me. In the full Regan-esque fantasy, I’m aging well and laughing at anecdotes by these same three people, all adults by then, across an all-white sofa. And it would never occur to me to make them stop talking and go to sleep….
C&C: Do you wear shoes in the house?
Shoes come off at the door. Then it’s EMU sheepskin mules. One of my favorite things in the world.
C&C: Are you afraid of the dark? (I am) Also, what monster/boogeyman/ irrational fear/phobia do you have?
My mother owned a redwood coffee table that was deadly from the right angle. Many stitches later, it’s not the metaphysical I fear in the dark, it’s jutting raw-edge tables. It’s knowing avoidable danger is there, and colliding with it anyway.
C&C: Do you dress up to take your kids trick-or-treating? Why or why not?
I don’t. My husband takes them. It was all adorable and perfectly absurd the first few years, and I’d love to watch. Now my guys are six and eight and they’re all business, where candy is involved. I stay back, get social.
C&C: Do you dress up on Halloween as a rule, and is it your favorite holiday? If not, what is?
Do I give the impression Halloween is my favorite? It may be.
We get into it. By fall we’re both usually feeling strangely expressive, and playing dress-up cancels the existential noise in my head so nicely. When I’m myself as someone else, I know why I refuse to take myself too seriously.
Adding to that, staging a photo shoot is a process not unlike writing—I love it. It’s one of my absolute favorite things to do, with both my husband and my sisters (including photographer Chelsea K).
I want to do a shoot inspired by Eastern Promises. Husband as Viggo Mortensen and me as the lusty-eyed Vincent Cassel. Yes.
Or maybe we should pull from real life and I can pretend to be Monica Bellucci.
I’m sorry, what were we talking about?
Some days, it can’t be helped—everything leads back to Vincent Cassel. It’s the same force that has my husband ending so many of his sentences with “… Alana[Blanchard].”
C&C: What was the first book you ever LOVED?
Philip Roth’s Portnoy’s Complaint. It kills me.
C&C: Cats, dogs, yes, no, why?
I like animals, more so when I sense a personality there. But I also like a low-effort life, so I avoid anything likely to shed or shit near my stuff.
Recently a dwarf hamster caught my eye and I bought him, on impulse, habitat and all. But then he bit me, hard. I can’t recall the last time I had my feelings hurt by a person, but that did it. Little Hamsty was returned. I had loved him too much; it hurt too badly when he couldn’t love me back.